The Best Operator Call Ever

Me: Iowa State Operator.
Lady: Hi, what does VEISHEA stand for?
Me: *looks it up with a simple Google search* ... It's an acronym for the colleges that were a part of Iowa State University at the time the celebration was first created. *I list the colleges...*
Lady: Okay, thanks, hey y'all know it's going to be 45 degrees out on Saturday, right?
Me: That's...awful...?
Lady: Naw, actually, I think it's pretty good, because we're bringing our dog. He's a Mahlemuit, and he has a double coat. They're just one step away from wolves. They're the dogs used in the Iditarod, if you know what that is...

[2 minutes telling me about Mahlemuits, with me desperately looking for an opportunity to hang up, or really any way to get a word in edgewise without offending this person, who possibly intends to spend money at VEISHEA]

Me: Well, thanks for that information. Is there anything else I can help you with? (Yes, I realize this was a huge mistake. I actually physically cringed as I finished the sentence.)
Lady: Do you know what time the parade is?
Me: *more googling*...10:30AM.

[1 minute talking about last year's parade.]

Lady: And what time do the booths open? They have some great freebies at some of them if you get there early.
Me: *guessing, because I have already spent far too long on this call* 9:00 AM?
Lady: Perfect, that's when we were gonna get there.

[coworkers are looking at me now from the support area, and laughing]

Lady: You know, last year there was a girl standing around the planned parenthood booth with a shirt that said "Abortion is the equivalent of capital punishment", and she had a sign that said "baby killers" on it.
Me: Uh, wow. Well, people have diverse opinions, and it's definitely well within her rights to protest.
Lady: I told her good job. It is murder.
Me: [getting extremely uncomfortable] And you're certainly entitled to your opinion on that matter.
Lady: What's your view on it?
Me: I can't... uh... I'm not allowed to give my opinion on this line.

[She says one or two more things about abortion and how wrong it is, and I tell her that I have to help someone else now..which is true, a guy has just walked into the Solution Center.]

Lady: Okay, before you go, [NOOOOOOOO] are you playing Tangled for the outdoor movie on Friday night?
What I wish I had said: I'm sorry, you used all the time I would have normally spent answering that question going off on random tangents.
What I was obligated by policy to say: There's an outdoor movie on Thursday night, and it's The Green Hornet.
Lady: What's that about?
What I should have said: Do you OWN a computer?! Have access to one, even?
What I did say: It's kind of a superhero movie.
Lady: Do you know if that's appropriate for children?
What I might have said if I didn't care about the university's reputation: Nope. There's boobs, blood and guts everywhere. And gratuitous amounts of drug use. And every other word is an F-bomb.
What I did say: I'm afraid I don't know.
Lady: Alright then... thanks.
Me: Have a nice night! *click*

:|




Also...

For anyone who is curious after reading this, I am tentatively pro-choice, although I think that adoption is almost always a better option. I would never agree to the abortion of a child I helped conceive, but I don't think it's within my rights to "save people from themselves" by preventing anyone else from getting one. In other words, I think they are to be avoided, but not banned completely.