I need a quick brain-dump here. I have always had pretty good judgment. Sometimes I regret decisions I make, only to find out much later that they were absolutely the right ones. I really hope that the decision I've made tonight turns out to be one of those.
Sometimes I worry that putting too much faith in my judgment has caused me to pass up a lot of really good times, though. Sure, it saves me from grief, but I can't help but wonder if the costs outweigh the benefits occasionally. I wish for a day that I could just act on impulse and see what happens. I hardly ever act on impulse. The vast majority of my actions are premeditated, cross-examined, weighed and balanced before I ever take them. It would be interesting to see how different my life would be if that wasn't the case.
Prime example: earlier tonight I told someone completely truthfully that I would love to be a taxi driver. I would. I think it would be a good career for me. The rational side of my mind tells me that I would have trouble down the road (pun intended) because of the financial situation, but the idea of driving around, listening to music, talking to strangers all day for a living still interests me.
I also neglected to tell that same person something I really, REALLY want to, because I don't know the outcome. It's a complete wild card, and I refuse to play it simply because I can't create an exit strategy without knowing the possible endings. That bothers me.
And I'm spent! Be sure and read my Chicago post below if you haven't, it's a much more entertaining one than this.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Chicago
So! I'm back. I can't really describe all the fun I had in a single blog post, but I'm going to run through the hilights:
Wednesday: Karaoke night in Gurnee, IL. This was Kassie's first (of three) birthday celebration, and it was a riot. I drank a little more than I should have, but still managed to sing several songs, among which were "Kryptonite" and "Ring of Fire". It ended too soon, though, I had a couple more in mind to try out. Next time!
Thursday: Chicago, day 1. It was amazing, as Chicago always is. It's my favorite U.S. city, and this trip re-affirmed that for me. Thursday afternoon we went into the city and spent the day at the Field Museum, the Shedd Aquarium, the planetarium and walking all around Michigan Avenue. I'm pretty sure we walked 10 miles or so that day, not counting walking around the museums. It was a ton of fun.
Friday: We went into the city again, and this time we went to the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. It was basically nerd paradise. There was an exhibit called Body Worlds, which consists of preserved human bodies displayed in a lot of really beautiful and informative poses and states. It was most definitely an educational exhibit, but there was a certain art to it as well. I will say that it's probably not an exhibit for the faint of heart, or those who get queasy easily, though. After the museum, we went back to Round Lake (Kassie's suburb) and had a cookout with her family. This was birthday party number two.
Saturday: We spent most of the day hanging out in Round Lake, and then headed into the city for bar hopping in Wrigleyville (three). For those who aren't familiar (because I certainly wasn't), Wrigleyville is the area immediately surrounding the iconic Wrigley Stadium. There are a ton of great bars in that area, and we had a really good time. At the end of the night, we went to Taco Bell, and I came into possession of a packet of hot sauce that said "Are you single?" on it. I was tasked with giving this packet to a person on the street, and I did it. I did my best to appear friendly and sane, but the lucky recipient still looked at me like she thought I was about to kill her. People in Chicago apparently aren't used to random drunken strangers walking up and handing them things. Come to think of it, that's probably how it is most places.
Sunday: Six Flags in Gurnee! I hadn't been to an amusement park in a long time, so I had way too much fun riding all the rollercoasters. Brett and Kassie aren't huge fans of roller coasters, so I had most of the fun while they held my wallet and phone. Poor them! But all in all, we each had a good day there. The only problem was that the Hurricane Harbor wasn't open yet. Too early in the season. It was a real shame, too, because it was a very hot day (85-90 degrees at some parts). There were a couple water rides open, though.
Sunday night I was supposed to come home, but due to weather I ended up getting stuck in Milwaukee. It gave me some great reading time, though. Today I came home via a flight that technically had no seats open on it. I was supposed to go through Dallas, but DFW airport tends to stop all flights as soon as a raindrop hits the tarmac, and my plane out of Milwaukee was delayed too much for me to make my connecting flight to Omaha. I ended up swapping my ticket out at the last minute for a late night direct flight, but I had them put me on standby for the evening flight. It turns out that was a very good idea. One person didn't show up, and so I ended up making it home around 7:30PM, which is much better than the 11:00PM arrival time I would have had.
The trip was amazing, and I'll post pictures on Facebook for those who are friends with me there. I may also edit this post and throw a few in here. It really depends on how lazy I get / how short my attention span is that day.
Wednesday: Karaoke night in Gurnee, IL. This was Kassie's first (of three) birthday celebration, and it was a riot. I drank a little more than I should have, but still managed to sing several songs, among which were "Kryptonite" and "Ring of Fire". It ended too soon, though, I had a couple more in mind to try out. Next time!
Thursday: Chicago, day 1. It was amazing, as Chicago always is. It's my favorite U.S. city, and this trip re-affirmed that for me. Thursday afternoon we went into the city and spent the day at the Field Museum, the Shedd Aquarium, the planetarium and walking all around Michigan Avenue. I'm pretty sure we walked 10 miles or so that day, not counting walking around the museums. It was a ton of fun.
Friday: We went into the city again, and this time we went to the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. It was basically nerd paradise. There was an exhibit called Body Worlds, which consists of preserved human bodies displayed in a lot of really beautiful and informative poses and states. It was most definitely an educational exhibit, but there was a certain art to it as well. I will say that it's probably not an exhibit for the faint of heart, or those who get queasy easily, though. After the museum, we went back to Round Lake (Kassie's suburb) and had a cookout with her family. This was birthday party number two.
Saturday: We spent most of the day hanging out in Round Lake, and then headed into the city for bar hopping in Wrigleyville (three). For those who aren't familiar (because I certainly wasn't), Wrigleyville is the area immediately surrounding the iconic Wrigley Stadium. There are a ton of great bars in that area, and we had a really good time. At the end of the night, we went to Taco Bell, and I came into possession of a packet of hot sauce that said "Are you single?" on it. I was tasked with giving this packet to a person on the street, and I did it. I did my best to appear friendly and sane, but the lucky recipient still looked at me like she thought I was about to kill her. People in Chicago apparently aren't used to random drunken strangers walking up and handing them things. Come to think of it, that's probably how it is most places.
Sunday: Six Flags in Gurnee! I hadn't been to an amusement park in a long time, so I had way too much fun riding all the rollercoasters. Brett and Kassie aren't huge fans of roller coasters, so I had most of the fun while they held my wallet and phone. Poor them! But all in all, we each had a good day there. The only problem was that the Hurricane Harbor wasn't open yet. Too early in the season. It was a real shame, too, because it was a very hot day (85-90 degrees at some parts). There were a couple water rides open, though.
Sunday night I was supposed to come home, but due to weather I ended up getting stuck in Milwaukee. It gave me some great reading time, though. Today I came home via a flight that technically had no seats open on it. I was supposed to go through Dallas, but DFW airport tends to stop all flights as soon as a raindrop hits the tarmac, and my plane out of Milwaukee was delayed too much for me to make my connecting flight to Omaha. I ended up swapping my ticket out at the last minute for a late night direct flight, but I had them put me on standby for the evening flight. It turns out that was a very good idea. One person didn't show up, and so I ended up making it home around 7:30PM, which is much better than the 11:00PM arrival time I would have had.
The trip was amazing, and I'll post pictures on Facebook for those who are friends with me there. I may also edit this post and throw a few in here. It really depends on how lazy I get / how short my attention span is that day.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
One more thing...
Well, I hate to end such a great weekend with a "serious" mood, but this was brought to mind by certain conversations and events of the past couple hours...
If I've seemed distant to any of you lately, it's probably because I'm slowly being forced to re-assess all of my friendships and relationships. Certain people are going to fall out of my life now that I've moved. There's not much I can do about it in some cases. I'm not trying to encourage that happening, though; I hate losing friends, and I hate it when people I'm close to drift away. My coping mechanisms have never been the best, and I think that my response to this has been to close myself off a little bit. I think that's a shame, and I'm going to work on it.
Bottom line: if you are or have been my friend, I appreciate you and wish you the best. Even if we haven't talked in a while.
If I've seemed distant to any of you lately, it's probably because I'm slowly being forced to re-assess all of my friendships and relationships. Certain people are going to fall out of my life now that I've moved. There's not much I can do about it in some cases. I'm not trying to encourage that happening, though; I hate losing friends, and I hate it when people I'm close to drift away. My coping mechanisms have never been the best, and I think that my response to this has been to close myself off a little bit. I think that's a shame, and I'm going to work on it.
Bottom line: if you are or have been my friend, I appreciate you and wish you the best. Even if we haven't talked in a while.
A pretty awesome weekend
I had one. Mark Bauer came to visit Omaha on Friday, and we went to the hookah bar downtown. Saturday morning, Ino came into town, so we all hung out and took my new car out for its first real interstate trip to Fort Calhoun, where we grilled out and had a bonfire with s'mores.
Saturday night, Ino, Bauer and I got a couple rooms at the Embassy Suites downtown, eliminating the need for anyone to drive, and then Bauer and I hit the bars. We got completely wrecked, and had a great time. "Pond Scum" from Billy Frogg's is our friend. I think my new favorite bar is The Dubliner, though. Great live music, and lots of interesting people.
Today (Sunday) I saw Bauer off after lunch at Charleston's, which was amazing. Their cheeseburger makes a hell of a hangover cure. Tonight I went to see "Fast Five" with Jeff, Lynzei, Ino and Chris. I really enjoyed it, despite all the completely impossible stuff they did with those Dodge Chargers (anyone who saw the movie knows exactly what I'm talking about). In fact, I learned from the movie that Chargers have infinite horsepower, weigh about 10 tons (but still handle as if they weigh 500 lbs), and have indestructible tires made out of some kind of metal alloy soaked in the blood of Zeus. I need to get me one of those.
Oh, speaking of cars, I have a new one. I will probably still post pictures at some point, but I have not gotten them off my phone's memory card yet. It's a 2011 Chevy Malibu 1LT, and I absolutely love it so far.
So yeah, really great few days! Oh, and I am going to Chicago for 5 days on Tuesday... Life is definitely great!
Saturday night, Ino, Bauer and I got a couple rooms at the Embassy Suites downtown, eliminating the need for anyone to drive, and then Bauer and I hit the bars. We got completely wrecked, and had a great time. "Pond Scum" from Billy Frogg's is our friend. I think my new favorite bar is The Dubliner, though. Great live music, and lots of interesting people.
Today (Sunday) I saw Bauer off after lunch at Charleston's, which was amazing. Their cheeseburger makes a hell of a hangover cure. Tonight I went to see "Fast Five" with Jeff, Lynzei, Ino and Chris. I really enjoyed it, despite all the completely impossible stuff they did with those Dodge Chargers (anyone who saw the movie knows exactly what I'm talking about). In fact, I learned from the movie that Chargers have infinite horsepower, weigh about 10 tons (but still handle as if they weigh 500 lbs), and have indestructible tires made out of some kind of metal alloy soaked in the blood of Zeus. I need to get me one of those.
Oh, speaking of cars, I have a new one. I will probably still post pictures at some point, but I have not gotten them off my phone's memory card yet. It's a 2011 Chevy Malibu 1LT, and I absolutely love it so far.
So yeah, really great few days! Oh, and I am going to Chicago for 5 days on Tuesday... Life is definitely great!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Today and the near future
My dad just called me into the living room to show me this cool service called LifeLock. They sent him an e-mail notifying him that a car dealership was researching an interest rate by accessing his credit score and credit history. He was there when they were doing it, because he's co-signing a car loan with me. My response: "Well, guess that means you're going to have me arrested for trying to use your credit for my loan?" We both cracked up.
Backing up a little, though: today I sold my Monte Carlo to my good friend Leigh Ann. She'll treat it well, and it will undoubtedly give her lots of good times, as it has for me. After we agreed on a price, I told her she can have it on Thursday, and off I went to Huber Auto to shop for a new one. Really fun! I ended up deciding on a Chevy Malibu 1LT. The only thing it has that I didn't want is a sunroof. It has everything that I do want. I got a GREAT price on it, too (but I won't say exactly how much). So anyway, on Thursday after I drop my Monte off with Leigh Ann, I will be going over to Huber to pick up my new car. I'm pretty excited.
Other than that, today I found out that my awesome trip to NYC to sing with Jackson and Almeda at Carnegie has been canceled. One of the largest choirs that was going to participate has backed out, and the company was forced to cancel the performance. I am bummed about this, because that was probably the only time in my life I will ever have an opportunity to sing at Carnegie... I'm good, but let's face it, I'm not THAT good. My mom and I also had tickets to the Book of Mormon on Broadway, which we will now be selling... Gah! Oh well, at least I had the car shopping to offset this bit of bad news, and I'll still probably take voice lessons from Almeda this summer just for the hell of it.
Next week I am going to Kassie's birthday party in Chicago (probably my favorite U.S. city). I'll be staying there for five days and hanging out with Brett and Kassie and a bunch of her friends in the city. Next week... will be a great week. There will be another post devoted to this.
That's all for now, I'll post car pictures when I get a chance.
-Ryan
Backing up a little, though: today I sold my Monte Carlo to my good friend Leigh Ann. She'll treat it well, and it will undoubtedly give her lots of good times, as it has for me. After we agreed on a price, I told her she can have it on Thursday, and off I went to Huber Auto to shop for a new one. Really fun! I ended up deciding on a Chevy Malibu 1LT. The only thing it has that I didn't want is a sunroof. It has everything that I do want. I got a GREAT price on it, too (but I won't say exactly how much). So anyway, on Thursday after I drop my Monte off with Leigh Ann, I will be going over to Huber to pick up my new car. I'm pretty excited.
Other than that, today I found out that my awesome trip to NYC to sing with Jackson and Almeda at Carnegie has been canceled. One of the largest choirs that was going to participate has backed out, and the company was forced to cancel the performance. I am bummed about this, because that was probably the only time in my life I will ever have an opportunity to sing at Carnegie... I'm good, but let's face it, I'm not THAT good. My mom and I also had tickets to the Book of Mormon on Broadway, which we will now be selling... Gah! Oh well, at least I had the car shopping to offset this bit of bad news, and I'll still probably take voice lessons from Almeda this summer just for the hell of it.
Next week I am going to Kassie's birthday party in Chicago (probably my favorite U.S. city). I'll be staying there for five days and hanging out with Brett and Kassie and a bunch of her friends in the city. Next week... will be a great week. There will be another post devoted to this.
That's all for now, I'll post car pictures when I get a chance.
-Ryan
Monday, May 2, 2011
Celebrating death [edited for accuracy]
People have a lot of good things to say about the death of Osama bin Laden. Iowa State University is rumored to have had the 5th largest celebration of his death in the United States. Several people have encouraged me to crack a beer to celebrate his passing. I respectfully declined each time.
Even though the world is indisputably a much better place without bin Laden, I will not celebrate his death. If you have to ask why, consider the following: is hate ever a *good* thing? Does it really matter who it's directed at? I don't think so. Just my two cents.
"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. So when Jesus says 'Love your enemies,' he is setting forth a profound and ultimately inescapable admonition. ... The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."
-Martin Luther King Jr., excerpt from "Strength to Love"
Even though the world is indisputably a much better place without bin Laden, I will not celebrate his death. If you have to ask why, consider the following: is hate ever a *good* thing? Does it really matter who it's directed at? I don't think so. Just my two cents.
"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. So when Jesus says 'Love your enemies,' he is setting forth a profound and ultimately inescapable admonition. ... The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."
-Martin Luther King Jr., excerpt from "Strength to Love"
The end
This afternoon, I finished the last final exam of my undergraduate degree. I actually think I aced it. Maybe since it was the last test, I subconsciously decided to use "excessive force"? In any case, there's nothing left to do now except wait for my Bachelor of Science Degree in Computer Engineering to be mailed to me. There are no more deadlines, and no more obstacles. Nothing in my way at all. A lot of people have asked me in the past week, "How does it feel to be graduating from college?" I'd hate to dash anyone's hopes here, but for me there was no fanfare, no fireworks, no huge mental celebration as I walked out of the test. Honestly, it feels a little emptier than I expected. It's by no means a bad feeling, though.
Senior Design is also done, as you probably guessed. Our system broke just before we demonstrated it, because we decided to do a battery stress test the night before. Bad move on our part, but on the bright side, we got 5 and a half hours of continuous streaming. People still seemed fairly impressed by our demo, even though it was stationary and only half the cameras had power. Personally, I think it's because we look so damn good in suits.
This truly is an odd feeling. I feel like my life is pretty wide open from here on out. There are only a few things that are certain: I will work as a computer engineer for some period of time, I will eventually get a house and a dog, and I will die someday. Everything else is still up for grabs; lots of possibilities. That feels good.
The rest of this week is devoted to catching up on sleep, self-improvement, and spending time with my friends. Saturday my parents are going to come up, and we're going to go out to lunch with Brett and his parents, and hopefully Bauer as well. I'm looking forward to that a lot.
...I guess I can finally say "I did it." Really, though, we did it. Myself, my parents, my teachers and my friends all had a hand in me making it through college successfully. Thanks to everyone I know, and everyone I have known for being a part of my life. And I thank God for setting things in motion in such a way that I ended up where I am today. If there's one thing I know, it's that we don't get what we deserve, we just get what we get; I was dealt an amazing hand in life, and all the people who care about me have helped me play that hand the right way. I'm very fortunate, there can be no doubt about that.
-Ryan
Senior Design is also done, as you probably guessed. Our system broke just before we demonstrated it, because we decided to do a battery stress test the night before. Bad move on our part, but on the bright side, we got 5 and a half hours of continuous streaming. People still seemed fairly impressed by our demo, even though it was stationary and only half the cameras had power. Personally, I think it's because we look so damn good in suits.
This truly is an odd feeling. I feel like my life is pretty wide open from here on out. There are only a few things that are certain: I will work as a computer engineer for some period of time, I will eventually get a house and a dog, and I will die someday. Everything else is still up for grabs; lots of possibilities. That feels good.
The rest of this week is devoted to catching up on sleep, self-improvement, and spending time with my friends. Saturday my parents are going to come up, and we're going to go out to lunch with Brett and his parents, and hopefully Bauer as well. I'm looking forward to that a lot.
...I guess I can finally say "I did it." Really, though, we did it. Myself, my parents, my teachers and my friends all had a hand in me making it through college successfully. Thanks to everyone I know, and everyone I have known for being a part of my life. And I thank God for setting things in motion in such a way that I ended up where I am today. If there's one thing I know, it's that we don't get what we deserve, we just get what we get; I was dealt an amazing hand in life, and all the people who care about me have helped me play that hand the right way. I'm very fortunate, there can be no doubt about that.
-Ryan
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