Of all the things I can believe,
in this world of broken dreams,
the best is that someone can understand;
that there's shade on burning sands.
When I'm blistered from the sun,
Sometimes someone comes along,
and proves there's more to life than loss;
sheltering me, and soothing remorse.
I remember the night you explained,
and inside the echoes of my pain,
I heard the voice of truth ring through,
and I put my faith in you.
I no longer believe in love,
but I know that you do.
And I think, just maybe, that's enough
to help me live anew. You said...
"Love's not fragile, true love is steel:
impossible to break, and slow to yield.
So much better than bone and flesh,
it holds us up when we've no strength left."
I remember on that day,
that in the vast depths of my pain,
I heard the voice of truth ring through,
and I will always have faith in you.
This is rapidly turning into a song. If I get it to the point where I think it's good enough to share, I'll throw a video of me playing it up here.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I AM EXCITED!
There are several reasons for this.
1) Next weekend I get to go visit my friend Inori. Good times will be had.
2) Over spring break I get to test drive cars. I can't even describe how great it will be to get rid of mine. Don't get me wrong, it's a good car, but it's really hard to start, the sound system sucks, and the suspension is kind of shaky to say the least.
3) In April, Periphery is releasing a new album. I have heard a few raw clips that Misha Mansoor posted on his soundclick, and it sounds like it's going to be RIDICULOUSLY good.
4) Also in April, some friends and I are taking a road trip down to Dallas for the MLG Pro Circuit, where Brett will be competing in SC2 and Jon will be competing in Halo: Reach. The rest of us will undoubtedly spend most of our time cheering for said competitors, being huge nerds, and hopefully hitting the bars pretty hard!
AN...
TI.. CI?
PATION!!!!
It's killing me.
1) Next weekend I get to go visit my friend Inori. Good times will be had.
2) Over spring break I get to test drive cars. I can't even describe how great it will be to get rid of mine. Don't get me wrong, it's a good car, but it's really hard to start, the sound system sucks, and the suspension is kind of shaky to say the least.
3) In April, Periphery is releasing a new album. I have heard a few raw clips that Misha Mansoor posted on his soundclick, and it sounds like it's going to be RIDICULOUSLY good.
4) Also in April, some friends and I are taking a road trip down to Dallas for the MLG Pro Circuit, where Brett will be competing in SC2 and Jon will be competing in Halo: Reach. The rest of us will undoubtedly spend most of our time cheering for said competitors, being huge nerds, and hopefully hitting the bars pretty hard!
AN...
TI.. CI?
PATION!!!!
It's killing me.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day, whoever!
Happy Commercializing Love Day! Or Singles Awareness Day. Whatever you prefer. Not a fan of the holiday, but the "happy" wish is totally sincere, I assure you!
So I was looking through my draft posts and... I am one weird dude. I get all "philosophical" in some posts, and then get self-conscious about them and "save as draft". I happened upon one about purpose, and one about selfishness. Here's the Spark Notes for each:
What I think of purpose...
I think that everyone is born with potential for multiple purposes they can fulfill. In order not to encroach on free will, the universe was designed such that people can have many roles (and tend to have diverse talents usually). The people who are the least happy in the world tend to be those who deviate from their given set of "optimal" paths through life. That is not to say that one can't be happy straying from the beaten path; I'm saying that those who are unhappy with their careers or feel that their life lacks meaning are probably among those who did. I definitely did, and I'm kind of hoping that I don't end up as one of those unfortunate people I just described.
What I think of selfishness...
A while back I had a conversation about selfishness with a really sharp friend of mine, Inori. She's of the opinion that there are two different types of selfishness: malicious selfishness and necessary selfishness. I completely agree, and I'll try to lay out what we concluded. The malicious type is essentially selfishness for its own sake. You take from others and give nothing in return, even if you have the ability to help those in need. Malicious selfishness is truly awful, and I believe it's next to impossible for anyone with a conscience or a decent moral compass to be guilty of it. Necessary selfishness, on the other hand, is neither easy to define, nor morally reprehensible. An act of necessary selfishness might be done in the interest of self-preservation, or the preservation of those closest to a person. If there is a bus accident and your family is on the bus, you will help them before helping other passengers. Some might call this simple logic, but it is an act of bias, and a completely understandable and necessary one. If a man is starving and refuses to give some food he finds to another starving man who asks for it, that is necessary selfishness. He's doing what it takes to survive. I'm not saying Aladdin was wrong; giving his food to those kids was a really nice gesture, and admirable, but you won't last long actually living in the streets if you get into habits like that. Selflessness is for the privileged; it's for those who have so much that they can give part of what they have away and still live their lives happily. By the way, thanks to Ino for that interesting conversation. I'm sure I left a few of your key points out, and I apologize. Feel free to correct me.
Enough of that. What else do I want to talk about? I'm learning to play Terran in Starcraft II. So far all I know how to do is 3racks and do some rudimentary Hellion play. I'll eventually be learning builds from Brett (who's a Master League Terran as of this past friday), so I'm sure I'll hit diamond over the summer.
Still plugging away at guitar, I really want some lessons. Probably going to start those up over the summer as well.
Over spring break I'm going to be shopping for cars and places to live, so that'll be fun. Til then, pretty much just doing senior design, exploring some extracurricular stuff that I've been wanting to do, and "snapping nerd necks" on SC2 as my friend Bauer would say.
So I was looking through my draft posts and... I am one weird dude. I get all "philosophical" in some posts, and then get self-conscious about them and "save as draft". I happened upon one about purpose, and one about selfishness. Here's the Spark Notes for each:
What I think of purpose...
I think that everyone is born with potential for multiple purposes they can fulfill. In order not to encroach on free will, the universe was designed such that people can have many roles (and tend to have diverse talents usually). The people who are the least happy in the world tend to be those who deviate from their given set of "optimal" paths through life. That is not to say that one can't be happy straying from the beaten path; I'm saying that those who are unhappy with their careers or feel that their life lacks meaning are probably among those who did. I definitely did, and I'm kind of hoping that I don't end up as one of those unfortunate people I just described.
What I think of selfishness...
A while back I had a conversation about selfishness with a really sharp friend of mine, Inori. She's of the opinion that there are two different types of selfishness: malicious selfishness and necessary selfishness. I completely agree, and I'll try to lay out what we concluded. The malicious type is essentially selfishness for its own sake. You take from others and give nothing in return, even if you have the ability to help those in need. Malicious selfishness is truly awful, and I believe it's next to impossible for anyone with a conscience or a decent moral compass to be guilty of it. Necessary selfishness, on the other hand, is neither easy to define, nor morally reprehensible. An act of necessary selfishness might be done in the interest of self-preservation, or the preservation of those closest to a person. If there is a bus accident and your family is on the bus, you will help them before helping other passengers. Some might call this simple logic, but it is an act of bias, and a completely understandable and necessary one. If a man is starving and refuses to give some food he finds to another starving man who asks for it, that is necessary selfishness. He's doing what it takes to survive. I'm not saying Aladdin was wrong; giving his food to those kids was a really nice gesture, and admirable, but you won't last long actually living in the streets if you get into habits like that. Selflessness is for the privileged; it's for those who have so much that they can give part of what they have away and still live their lives happily. By the way, thanks to Ino for that interesting conversation. I'm sure I left a few of your key points out, and I apologize. Feel free to correct me.
Enough of that. What else do I want to talk about? I'm learning to play Terran in Starcraft II. So far all I know how to do is 3racks and do some rudimentary Hellion play. I'll eventually be learning builds from Brett (who's a Master League Terran as of this past friday), so I'm sure I'll hit diamond over the summer.
Still plugging away at guitar, I really want some lessons. Probably going to start those up over the summer as well.
Over spring break I'm going to be shopping for cars and places to live, so that'll be fun. Til then, pretty much just doing senior design, exploring some extracurricular stuff that I've been wanting to do, and "snapping nerd necks" on SC2 as my friend Bauer would say.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I wish
That I could just enjoy the small things in life without wondering why, and second guessing it.
That I didn't have to think ahead, and could live in the moment.
That I had the strength to show weakness.
That I could just feel down for a day and not beat myself down further for feeling that way.
That I didn't have to feel anything at all unless I wanted to.
That I didn't disappoint myself.
That I knew what the point of all this is.
But you know, at the end of the day, wishing gets one about as far as daydreaming. I'll wake up tomorrow and keep going, because that's what I was taught to do. I don't always have to like it, though.
That I didn't have to think ahead, and could live in the moment.
That I had the strength to show weakness.
That I could just feel down for a day and not beat myself down further for feeling that way.
That I didn't have to feel anything at all unless I wanted to.
That I didn't disappoint myself.
That I knew what the point of all this is.
But you know, at the end of the day, wishing gets one about as far as daydreaming. I'll wake up tomorrow and keep going, because that's what I was taught to do. I don't always have to like it, though.
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