Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A flash
My classes are all 10AM or later (Tuesday and Thursday I start at 12:40PM... WOO!) so I get to stay up pretty late every night. This is obviously a good thing, since I'm usually awake whether I want to be or not.
As soon as I got back, I started hanging out with friends that I hadn't seen in far too long. This week I've gotten drunk a couple times with my friend Chris, and played some StarCraft II with him in our spare time. Another friend of ours, Stinn, came back to town the other day, so we all went to Welch Ave and drank with him. That was pretty fun. Got to meet some new people, and made a late-night trip to Perkins. I also saw my friend Emily for the first time in a very long time today, ate Panera and tried gelato (which I'd never had before). That was tons of fun!
What else?... I'm grouping with Mike G. for senior design. For anyone who doesn't know, Mike and I have worked together in several classes, so we're used to it, and we are a pretty awesome team. I am anticipating a pretty good outcome to the project. We still haven't been assigned one, but we're hoping for something to do with embedded systems or possibly virtual reality.
I applied for a full-time position at Omaha Public Power District this week. It's for an EMS engineering position that opened up this past year. I'm not quite ready to commit to a company yet, but it would have been foolish and short-sighted to pass up the opportunity to apply for it, and I like to pretend I'm neither of those things... just for fun though, I know I'm not fooling anyone.
I think that's all the major stuff that's happened this past week. It ended up being longer than I intended, even though I spared most of the minor details and occurrences.
A few random thoughts:
-Dexter is a great show and I wish I had known about it sooner. (Thanks, Chris)
-You know that you've come a long way as a person when someone goes right for the throat in a discussion and tries to hurt you, and you just laugh at them. (This happened recently, and yes I did laugh. Apparently that particular hole in my armor has been patched up. Better luck next time)
-Where has gelato been all my life? Seriously, how had I not tried that stuff before?
I guess that's it for now! Bye.
Monday, August 16, 2010
I was bored, so I wrote this
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Caught up
Over the weekend I went up to Raddison Lake in Minnesota with a bunch of friends. We stayed at Brett's cabin and did a lot of shooting, off-roading, swimming and other assorted lake activities. I managed to roll an ATV my second or third time riding one. Live and learn, I guess.
I am unbelievably sleep-deprived, but I've had four really fantastic days. Here's hoping the good times continue as the school year starts up again.
Let's see, what else? I suppose I could mention that Black Wolf (my desktop computer) is finally going to get finished this week in preparation for a good StarCraft II binge before homework piles up. If it would cool down about 10 degrees and 30% humidity then I'd probably get a good bike ride or two in as well, but it looks like I might have to wait until next week for that.
I think that's all I've got for now. Sleep deprivation from last week + epic weekend catching up, brain no think good.
-Ryan
Quick Update (July 19, 2010)
Hokay, here’s the rundown:
- Started P90X last week. It hurts like a bitch, but it WORKS. I can already feel a slight difference in my strength and endurance. Highly recommend this workout.
- I put off my summer class for far too long, and now I get to do basically the whole damn thing in the space of 3 weeks. It does not pay to procrastinate.
- I went out and pre-ordered StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty the other day. It comes out on the 27th at 12:00AM, but I won’t be able to play it until the weekend of August 6th (when my class ends). Needless to say, that weekend I will be drinking and playing a lot of video games (something I haven’t done at home in a very long time…the games, not the drinking).
- I am thinking about developing an Android app this year. Anyone who would like to be a part of the project / has ideas for apps they’d like to see made, feel free to comment or contact me.
- Why do I bother writing on this thing? There are like 15 people who know it exists. Oh well, it’s fun anyway. And I can say funny things, like “Velociraptors will eventually take over the afterlife (after jumping the electric fence separating Raptor Heaven from People Heaven) and fly down on stolen angel wings to feast on our flesh”.
- Okay, maybe that wasn’t so much funny as just weird. I think that’s a pretty good description of my personality in general, though. If you can’t appreciate weirdness, then screw you! I hope the raptors visit you first.
See you in a couple weeks once this damn class is over with (possibly before then if I decide to write angsty posts about how much procrastination blows).
-Ryan
Elemental
Too busy to breathe (Jun 23, 2010)
I don’t have a whole lot of time to write, so quick run-down:
Last Thursday-Sunday:
Table Rock Lake. It was awesome. We boated, tubed, ate lots of things we shouldn’t have, drank excessively, did karaoke, and watched movies on the projector screen out in the patio. I got horribly sunburnt, but it was well worth it, and now I’ve got a tan! Thanks, Arab heritage! Pics on Facebook if you’re interested.
This week:
22nd birthday was yesterday, which was a pretty good time. Didn’t do a whole lot, pretty much just went out to eat at Upstream (which is a great place, for those of you who haven’t been there). This weekend I’ll do a better job of celebrating that in Ames!
Next Week:
Daily routine of summer class, work, guitar, exercise and other assorted activities resumes, followed by a trip up to Minneapolis to celebrate the 4th of July with my friends Brett, Kassie and Mike. Can’t wait for that.
I suppose the last thing on my mind is that Mother Nature seems to be trying to turn Omaha into a lake. So much rain! And the storm last night must have been a bad one, because this morning my neighborhood looked like a horde of disgruntled lumberjacks had run through the area hacking limbs off trees at random.
I don’t have a better ending for this post than that. Oh well!
What is the "Blogosphere", and how can I destroy it?
Ok, first off… I’m going to complain for a moment. Those who have not spent entirely too much time developing web-based UI’s using jQuery and PHP (ie. anyone reading this right now) will probably be bored. Skip down to the bold text if you don’t want to be bored.
My problem was a simple one, which took a disproportionate amount of time to solve due to my inability to pay attention to detail today. I have a page that I’m working on (database interface blah blah blah) which has many editable rows of data displayed, and these rows contain drop-down menus in some of the fields which are populated with possible values out of the database. The problem was that the rows were not populating, nor allowing me to remove elements, nor anything else. My reaction was something along the lines of what rage guy looks like in the 4th frame of every comic he’s in. Then I discovered (after about 3 hours of toying around with these stupid drop-down menus) that I had made them the wrong class, so of course jQuery’s selector utility couldn’t find the damn things. Once again, murderous rage ensued, but this time the problem got fixed. That is my incredibly boring story/wall-of-text.
REMEMBER THAT BOLD TEXT I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT? HERE IT IS.
Last night I finished reading the third book in the Wheel of Time series, “The Dragon Reborn”. It sounds impressive, and it is. There’s lots of magic, adventure, intrigue and other fun stuff such as people stabbing/hitting/insulting eachother, all wrapped up neatly in the clean and often witty writing style of Robert Jordan (may he rest in peace). Let me just pause to say that the previous sentence was an absolute travesty. I would go back and fix it, but I’m feeling incredibly lazy. Besides, reading poorly-structured sentences is like watching a car accident: you know that it’s a bad thing, but there’s a little part of you that’s really entertained by it.
My Memorial Day weekend was awesome. Friday I went to the hookah bar. Saturday I worked on a farm (baled hay, trimmed trees, fed/watered animals, etc.), and attended a bonfire. Sunday I went to Des Moines and watched the Cubs lose, then was taken on a tour of downtown by a friend. Monday I went to Polk, IA with some friends, ate food that they grilled, listened to music, played bags, played board games, then returned to Ames and grilled out again. Over the course of the weekend, I was in 6 different cities/towns, and traveled an estimated 600 miles. It was just plain great.
Last night was pretty fun, too. I learned a few basic licks at my guitar lesson, which I had to drive through torrential rain and wind to get to. Worth it! Then I went to my friend Jon’s house and hung out with him, Jeff, Kevin and Jeff’s new girlfriend Lynzei. We went to Jeff’s championship indoor soccer game later that night, and unfortunately the wrong team won. Jeff’s team played a good game, but they let the opponent get in their heads a little too much (the team they were playing is the aggressive type). In any case, it was fun to watch even if it didn’t end the way I would have liked.
Let’s see, what else? My grandpa recently had a valve replacement surgery, which he is recovering from as well as can be expected. He had a great room at Clarkson Hospital here in Omaha. I went to visit him last week, and the room had hardwood floors and its own bathroom with a shower. Pretty sweet. He went home on Saturday and is doing well as far as I know.
Uhhh… I think that’s all I’ve got. Okay, maybe not. Here’s a poem.
————————————————————————-
“Blue”
Some say that they see the world clearly,
even in a fevered dream.
I know better, as would anyone
who knows such worlds as we have seen.
Surf breaks silence a thousand years old,
yet only an instant in the waking world.
And in my dreams, I stand beside you.
Azure waves ripple through the air
as peculiar wind whips through our hair,
words I may never say heavy on my tongue.
The wind is sound, melodic and dissonant at once.
The light we see the ocean by
is nothing but a trick of the eye.
It is really only hope,
and it does not always shine.
Sometimes a veil of shadow lies
draped across a starless sky.
Though I am blind, I still feel and hear.
Our hands entwined cut through the fear.
We both awaken too soon each day,
and fleeting memories slip away
as dream fragments often do.
For a moment I remember you.
Not your face, though; to my dismay,
only the sound of blue remains.
————————————————————————-
Freeverse is fun to write! I’m not quite satisfied with that yet, though. We’ll see what I can do with it down the road.
Bye for now.
WordPress hates me, and I hate it. I love Subway, though.
I am at work and on my lunch break eating a Sweet-Onion Chicken Teriyaki sandwich. It is fantastic, and I am really glad Subway exists right now. My WordPress won’t update to the latest version, though, which is frustrating considering it demands that I update it every time I log in. This is probably a huge security risk, and my blog will likely be deleted and replaced with a virus-infested porn site.
I haven’t been using this blog as much as I’d like to due to me being busy with work, friends, graduation parties, guitars, running, reading, dinosaurs, and crack addiction (minus those last two). I haven’t even been playing video games at all lately, which has come as a giant shock to everyone close to me, including myself. I bought Red Dead Redemption, and then my PS3 decided that it didn’t feel like producing graphical output anymore, making it approximately as useful as a houseplant and half as nice to look at. So after I cursed and threw things for a while, I resigned myself to the fact that I won’t be playing that awesome title anytime soon.
What else has happened? Not much I guess. Life is average for a summer in Omaha, aside from the fact that I’m a little busier than usual. I have managed to fit a zoo trip in with Jeff and Kevin, during which we visited Jeff’s girlfriend, Chris and a ton of other people. We also contemplated putting a gorilla on steroids to see what would happen.
I’m really excited for this week to be over so I can go to Ames for the 3-day weekend. That promises to be a pretty good time.
I have to go do work now. I get to convert database interfaces to my updated format that I created last time I worked here. Hopefully I don’t forget this blog exists for weeks at a time anymore; it’s fun to do stream-of-consciousness writing. Later
Random late-night poem (again)
Wandering in the wastes,
the horizon is waving, nothing is clear.
No longer able to see the path,
I navigate only by feel.
The air is iron, red with rust,
and heavy in my lungs.
The soil is hot, and long-forlorn;
the rains refuse to come.
I tell myself my journey’s end
lies just ahead, though I do not know.
Cracks in the parched earth mirror my will,
but while it’s whole I will not slow.
Each night I dream of simpler times;
I thought I knew where this road would lead.
But do I really want to return
to an oasis of false certainty?
Life is not simple, nor is it fair.
All one can do is hope and trust
that though there is hardship along the way,
the rains will return to settle the dust.
Just decided to mess around a little, and ended up writing this. I like the repeated “r” sounds in a lot of the phrases. The form is kind of cliche for me: conflict followed by an optimistic closing statement. I’ll have to switch it up next time, but since this was just for practice/fun I don’t mind posting it. Anyway, I’m really tired, so goodnight.
Semester over!
I am so happy to be done with that semester. I think I managed to pull off a B average, and I got to hang out with most of my friends before leaving, so that’s a good way to end I suppose.
I even managed to finish my second 229 project (by the late submission deadline), although it was very ugly. Hoping that the grading criteria they place on it is pretty lenient, but I guess we’ll have to see. Other than that, I think I’m actually addicted to House… I’ve been watching it a lot. Also, starting up guitar lessons again this weekend if all goes according to plan; that’ll be fun.
That’s really all I’ve got for now… more later. Hopefully some creative stuff, too. I did so much technical writing toward the end of that semester, I’m looking forward to bending some rules.
I'm busy and boring! (Mar. 24th 2010)
So, I haven’t posted in over a month! That’s due in large part to the fact that I’ve had nothing to really talk about. Life has just steamrolled on as usual, classes giving me hell, social life dwindling a bit as a result, but I’m still managing to find time for friends. The most eventful thing that has happened since my last update was my completion of the DTMF / Sound Processing project in Com Sci 229. That was a really long and ugly project, but it was also very cool. It involved creating and processing sound files, and the main meat of the project was creating and interpreting the tones generated by a touchtone phone. My creation/decoding software for these DTMF tones was pretty good, so I’m happy with the outcome. The next project has been assigned in that class as well. It deals with a simulation of a robot running through a small obstacle course. It should be pretty interesting I hope. Other than that, I’m working on a multithreaded application server for Cpr E 308, which I’m kind of enjoying.
I’ve got some plans for summer lined up, too! Right now, I’m thinking I’ll take a cooking class at least once a week, and a guitar lesson every week as well. Obviously I’ll be writing and gaming a lot, too. The best news about summer is that I’ve got my position with OPPD’s EMS team back for three months. I’m pretty excited about that; the EMS team is a great bunch of guys, and the work is always at least mildly interesting and challenging. The pay’s good too, of course.
That’s about it for now. I’m going to be working on some prose pretty soon here, so keep an eye out for that sometime in the next month. Happy Spring.
Amber Falls
it’s a strange and solemn sound:
The soft clink seems to echo
even in the tiny space
of a pristine glass.
The cause may be elsewhere;
somewhere in my mind, perhaps.
Glass and ice refract the light
dimly cast upon the desk.
My hand is steady,
filling what is still too empty.
The solidarity creates stark contrast
with what lies within me.
The bottle’s blood burns my nostrils,
and turns the dim light to amber.
I watch as the scotch settles,
moving shades across the oak.
The surface dances for a moment,
then stills, as the ripples cease.
A crack from the ice breaks the silence,
leaving a feeling of vague unease.
I pick up the glass and take a sip,
enjoying the burning in my chest.
It’s a small comfort to know,
that even this fake warmth exists.
It is nice to imagine that though I’m alone,
an ice cube shares my unrest.
Stares
Okay, ready for some insomnia-fueled poetry? It’ll probably be completely nuts… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
You surprise me at every turn,
my twisted little friend.
When I think I’m rid of you,
you visit me again.
Your comfort stings like needles;
your existence is a sin.
Like a cold rain, falling hard,
weaving serpents on my skin.
Whisper your sweet lies to me,
I’ll not bend to your will.
I learned my lesson long ago,
though my lips taste of your poison still.
Yup. Batshit insane, just as I thought.
Mantra
I will never surrender;
Never falter.
Vehemently and tirelessly,
I will pursue greatness.
Crashing against me,
The tide of doubt is powerless.
Unbreakable is my resolve,
Shattering every barrier.
Clap Off (originally posted Jan. 27, 2010)
Today is not a good day. Tons to do, but I can’t focus on any of it. Instead I’m enumerating past mistakes and punishing myself for them mentally. Not really productive or fun. It’s sad, because this week started out really great, and is destined to end great, but the middle sucks horribly. Could have had a perfect week!
Bahh, enough bitching. Here’s a brief rundown of my classes and my impressions of them so far:
Com Sci 229: Awesome, Jim is the god of code as usual, and I’m learning a ton from him.
Cpr E 308: Class hours are boring and trivial thus far. Lab is interesting and some fun.
Cpr E 489: Not sure what to think. Lab is kind of tedious, material is interesting, but it jumps between being simple to understand and fairly involved. Usually when a class does that, it’s only going to get worse.
Engl 314: This class is, forgive me, bullshit. I doubt I’ll learn much that’s worthwhile from it. It’s mostly about technical communication in the workplace. That’s right, folks: it’s a class about writing memos. I’m oversimplifying it, of course, but it seems like my time could be better spent doing other things considering I’m already a better writer than most of the engineering college (that’s not saying much, believe me).
Com Sci 311: This course is going to figuratively kick my ass in front of a crowd of people and then throw me into the gutter. It’s algorithm analysis, meaning a mix of advanced algebra, theoretical math and proofs. Those are three of my least favorite things in the world. The only thing about this class that I am actually good at is designing an algorithm to solve a problem, but that will only get one so far. I consider the existence of this course to be conclusive proof that there is no God. I can’t do a mathematical proof for that, though, because I suck at them. You’ll just have to settle for broken linear reasoning in this case.
The great thing about the classes I’m in this semester is that two of them deal heavily with UNIX-based development in C, and the lab of another is done completely in the Red Hat OS. In layman’s terms, as I figure stuff out in one course, I’ll be able to apply some of it to others (shell commands, fun tricks in the C language, etc).
At the end of this week I’m taking a weekend off and going to Minnesota with my friends Brett and Mike. Epic amounts of fun will be had, no doubt. Not sure about everything we’re doing yet, but we are positive that we’re going to Buffalo Wild Wings and seeing Avatar in 3D at the IMAX. At least that’s something to look forward to while I suffer through today. And actually, today just got a little better; not only did I get to vent a little bit, but I managed to procrastinate my horrible 311 assignment a little more! Two birds, one stone.
-Ryan
Dream
Cold rain pattered roof and ground,
and rivers formed beside his feet:
the world was a torrent of water and sound.
The streetlamps each wore golden veils
made of raindrops falling near.
The man in black quickened his step,
losing the race against his fears.
Not a car passed, nor a soul;
he was alone, and so he felt.
Lightning cut the opaque night;
the air seemed to distort and melt.
The man looked up, and through wide eyes
saw paper falling from the sky.
The rain had turned to fragments
of what may once have been a poem.
They fell like snow, and on each one
was written a single word,
each in different handwriting,
some scribbled and obscured.
He panicked and began to run,
through swirling waves of broken dreams,
the lamps were burning, hot as suns,
their veils becoming ashen streams.
He tripped and fell down on his knees,
his breath caught in his throat,
for on the pavement before him
were words that he once wrote.
They were scattered all around
amongst the ink from other pens,
but he remembered perfectly
how the note had read:
“This will pass, like all things do
in our fragile, finite lives.
Even with darkness surrounding you,
never lose faith in the light.”
Post from Jan 4, 2010
Earlier tonight when I walked out the front door to go to my friend’s house, I immediately felt like I had walked into some invisible, though almost tangible wall. I stopped, confused, trying to decide what it was that was so strange about the night. That’s when I realized that it was completely silent outside. There was no wind, no traffic, no voices, human or animal. It was the clearest and quietest night I’ve ever experienced in the Omaha city limits. I just stood there for a few minutes, looking around, listening for any sign of life or movement. I knew it must be cold, but I didn’t even really feel a chill the entire time I was standing there.
That was one of the most interesting parts of my day (sad as that may seem). The rest consisted of digging through my stuff and figuring out what I want to take to Ames when I go back to school on Thursday. I can’t wait to move back up, I’ve been here a little too long for my liking. Not that I don’t love my family and my home, but I’m ready to have my own space again, see all my friends and continue my degree.
Tomorrow I get to take my car to the shop to get the right blinker fixed, and hopefully find a mini fridge. Exciting.
Guess that’s it.
Random late-night poem (originally posted on Dec. 25 2009)
This is something I was messing with because I wasn’t tired yet, it is pretty rough. Not great, but not horrible either, may end up polishing it some. Good news, writing it made me tired. G’night, and merry Christmas.
Untitled (terrible at titles…)
There was a man who had dreamed
every moment of his life.
His voice was silent,
his eyes blind to all but his fantasy,
and the world turned without him, it seemed.
He went to the ocean to feel its spray,
eyes still unseeing, lips still,
and gazed out over the sunlit waves.
Surf crashed, seagulls cried,
sand warmed him as the sun sank in the sky.
Darkness fell, and he slept there,
lulled by the sounds of the sea,
oblivious to the chill in the air.
When he awoke, he saw a beautiful woman
walking slowly up the beach.
She approached him and asked his name,
and he told her with a voice that was once out of reach.
He saw her with eyes he had thought to be blind,
and walked away with her, never to dream again;
he simply lived instead.
Not Helpless
I watch as cars pass me by,
then wait in traffic slowed by broken glass and flashing lights.
I hear anguished words woven in hearts wounded and stained.
Whether a person is benign or malicious,
sometimes we all cause those close to us pain.
I speak meaningless words that will be lost to the ages,
while others starve, and die at the hands of their brothers,
and the world turns on, as do history’s pages.
I walk beneath streetlights, or trees and stars.
There are radiant smiles lingering yet on faces I pass,
of friends, families, lovers: like fireflies in the dark.
I know that despite all the hurt the uncaring world can bring,
there is so much good; far too much to be destroyed
as long as we can still smile.
A Walk in the Cold
My breath rose, seemingly tangible before my face with each exhale as we walked side by side. Neither of us had spoken for a while, but rather focused on keeping our steady pace and taking in the chill evening, likely to be one of the last entirely tolerable ones of the year. My thoughts were few, but significant; refusing to be ignored. A memory here, an idea there, a yearning most prevalent among them. They shared a common face and voice. I wanted you to know the fondness with which I was thinking of you. I wanted to tell you that I felt everything you did was important, captivating and graceful. I wished I could confess, right then and there on that dark sidewalk, that you had my whole being at your disposal, whether or not you wanted it. I knew the words were there, ones which should have been spoken far away from that empty street and long before that night. I inhaled slowly, cooling my core, steeling myself to allow a brief glimpse at a more vulnerable and reckless side of me.
But would it be worthwhile?
There it was: the question I had so dreaded, and had known would arise. I wished then, and still do, that I had not known myself so well; fearing the hesitation may have guaranteed its awakening. Being a cautious person, I was bound to consider the possible consequences of such a confession as i was preparing to make. I thought of who I would hurt, who I might hurt, and everything that might be lost. Should you brush the words off, you might be rid of them, but they would remain echoing in the air around me, maybe forever. If only they would dissipate like the moisture on my breath, crystallizing and crumbling and becoming nothing after leaving my tongue. I couldn’t deceive myself; I knew that I would not speak. The struggle only lasted a split second. You didn’t see the flash of subtle self-disgust in my eyes. Maybe it was the breath: slow, deep, the exhale shuddering slightly. Whatever it was that broke your reverie, you were compelled to break the silence first.
“What’s on your mind right now?”
I paused briefly, composing my thoughts.
“Oh, nothing.”
I watched as the breath bearing my gentle omission froze, twisted, and was gone.
Points
nor is it negotiable.
As I approach one,
I distance myself from another.
I manufacture this divide,
hoping for a smile
when I finally arrive.
I can only hope I know
what it is I yearn for,
because with each new mile
on this dusty odometer,
I break the bond a little more.
I hope for sunny, cloudless days
at the breaking of this bitterness.
Hearing only music,
seeing only blue.
Laying in the grass,
content to play the fool.
Crack in the Wall
I’ll keep telling myself under my breath,
hoping that repetition will forge belief.
I know it’s not true, though,
my manufactured assurance.
The light from the monitor,
the tap of keystrokes,
the hum of electricity in the walls
of an otherwise silent house.
These are real, my calm is not.
Some turmoil has been brought
upon my mind’s waters,
usually so still and clear:
the manifestation of an ache
I have long refused to feel.
Reminding myself how good life is,
and how fortunate I am,
I’ve crushed the justification
for what I see as weakness.
I’m beginning to think, though,
that to feel lonely while not alone,
to remember and regret,
and to have so much, yet still yearn
are pieces of humanity.
So, tonight I hurt with no reason,
but you’ll hear no apology.
I only wait, and hope to believe soon,
“This is nothing.”
Tempest
Everything’s forgotten now
except for tiny fragments
of visions, and a voice I knew so well.
There were times, I dreamed,
when the sky was filled with sunlight,
and blurry smiles filled faces all around.
But words brought storms,
and thunder crashed, and lightning cracked:
I split that sky so easily,
as the hateful fountain before me
glimmered with its borrowed light.
Fake beauty, nothing more;
the world was so distorted.
As suddenly as they appeared,
the clouds were gone
and only you remained.
There aren’t many words left;
only a few in my memory.
Among them, there’s a whisper,
simple, but powerful:
“Dream of me.”
And dream I did,
until the final storm.
Return
is strangely satisfying.
It tells a tale of long-forgotten feelings
rising to the surface of my weary being…
Rumbling forth in deep,
often melancholy chords.
Singing in soft treble,
melodic and serene.
Dancing an allegro
of graceful imperfection
as these rusty fingers seek the keys.
Crashing and triumphant,
heralding a new dawn;
a reminder that music is still a part of me.
I finally remember why it’s something that I need:
even with no words or voice,
through song, a soul will always speak.
untitled
Of Fate, I ask no recompense:
she played a stronger hand than I.
But, had I any hint of sense,
the victory could have been mine.
Her strategy now seems so clear,
and all the weapons I supplied:
my reticence, my pride, my fear.
I should have seen, but I was blind.
So now I stand and face my foe;
our game, for now, has reached its end.
As victor, cruel Fate seeks to know:
“Who will be spared: you or your friend?”